11:50

Though my lack of posts haven’t been particularly flattering on my behalf, much of it has been devoted to schoolwork and training. I am humbled more and more by own deficits, and rely more on conscientiousness than raw talent in several domains. It’s unfortunate, though, that I am compensating for intrinsic ability with grit so early on in my life. It is natural, though it occurs later on in life, and I am only seventeen. I am not the smartest person out there, nor am I the quickest on the track. Nevertheless, I feel I am doing better a giving my best in every respect. If I underperform relative to my expectations, I have love to fall back on. I love my girlfriend. And, as a corollary, I aim to be a better person too. The ideal is a positive feedback loop. Sadly, I am hyperanalytical and excessively neurotic, so much of my efforts to rely on raw self-determination dissipate into a smattering of foresights that I won’t be able to succeed. But today, I feel love, and this is why I am writing. I encourage anyone reading to cultivate and nurture their own relationships. More and more I realize that adage of effort > success is true. Not everything needs to go according to plans, as long as you are continually cultivating it.